>That night the king could not sleep; so he ordered the book of the chronicles, the record of his reign, to be brought in and read to him. It was found recorded there that Mordecai had exposed Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king’s officers who guarded the doorway, who had conspired to assassinate King Xerxes.
“What honor and recognition has Mordecai received for this?” the king asked.
“Nothing has been done for him,” his attendants answered.
The king said, “Who is in the court?” Now Haman had just entered the outer court of the palace to speak to the king about impaling Mordecai on the pole he had set up for him.
His attendants answered, “Haman is standing in the court.”
“Bring him in,” the king ordered.
When Haman entered, the king asked him, “What should be done for the man the king delights to honor?”
Now Haman thought to himself, “Who is there that the king would rather honor than me?” Esther 6:1-6
Mordecai demonstrated selflessness by reporting the plot against the king. He had nothing to gain from getting involved. Mordecai did the right thing, but was never rewarded. He might have felt the satisfaction of a job well done. He might have felt gypped. Either way, Mordecai could sleep at night.
Haman, on the other hand, was vengeful, arrogant, deceitful and proud. He received a promotion out of the blue and become second in command to Xerxes. Haman was overly impressed with himself. I imagine that he carried a picture of himself in his wallet.
When Xerxes discovered the error of having never rewarded Mordecai, he asked Haman what the reward should be. Haman instantly thought of himself as the one worthy of reward. If you looked up self-centered in the dictionary, Haman’s picture would be right there. After all, who else could the king possibly want to honor?
How much do you tend to think about yourself? When someone makes a passing remark, do you immediately assume that it’s about you? Are you oversensitive or defensive about everything? When we put ourselves in the center, it’s all up to us to make everything okay (for us). That’s a very heavy burden. When we place God in the center, we can feel safe and secure. We can experience peace in our circumstances. It’s no longer all up to us. It’s up to God.
When putting ourselves in the center might feel safe, it is actually much more dangerous than we realize. God shouldn’t be your co-pilot. Let God be your pilot, then go back to first class and put your feet up.
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