By Allen White
The delusion of success is that what we need next is more of what we’re already experienced. After all, if Host Homes and Turbo Groups and Apprentices and Church-wide Campaigns helped us connect the first 70 percent of our members into groups, then one last push should put us over the top. For those of us who have achieved 71 percent or more, we understand that this simply isn’t true. What connected the first 70 percent will not connect the last 30 percent – no matter how attractive the appeal.
The last 30 percent fall into one of three categories – Independent, Introverted or Isolated. These folks do not want to fit into anyone’s system. They would rather practice personal spiritual disciplines like contemplation rather than face their greatest fear – your living room. They might have a disability or a disadvantage that keeps them away. A cookie cutter approach is not the answer.
Independent people struggle with our systems. They are smart enough to know that they don’t really need one. They don’t buck the system as much as they just avoid it. There natural leaders look at things much differently than the connected 70 percent.
Our church was launching a church-wide campaign in Fall a few years ago. A long-time member called and told me that he had an unofficial small group. I’m never threatened by such an admission. Secretly, I wished every member had this news to share. He asked if his group could do the church-wide study. I told him, “Absolutely not,” and then I laughed. Then, I asked him why his group was flying under the radar.
“Well, it’s like Dean Martin used to say,” he started. (Huh?) “The difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is that drunks don’t go to all of those meetings.” (My apologies to folks in recovery. The meetings are a good thing). I told him that I only had two meetings a year. He said that might be possible.
Independent folks don’t want to fit into a system. And, they know that they don’t have to. They’re not rebellious as much as they just dance to the beat of their own drummer. They don’t want recognition. They don’t want training. They don’t want supervision. They just want to get together with friends. Sometimes they’ll discuss spiritual things. Other times they’ll go to dinner. They are a small group. They just don’t obsess over structure like most pastors do.
Independents won’t attend Host Briefings or Leadership Training. It’s not that they’re above that. It’s just against their nature. Most independents possess a leadership gift already. They are capable to lead. They just need an opportunity. So, how do you get independents involved in groups?
Give them the material with no strings attached. They know how to lead. They know how to gather a group. They just need the materials. Now, for all of the control freaks who are hyperventilating at this point — by selecting the curriculum, you have given direction to the group. Most leaders are not working hard to teach heresy or form a cult. They are devoting themselves to vacuuming their living rooms and preparing refreshments.
Starting groups for independents is as simple as putting a table in your church’s lobby with a sign that says, “Start Your Own Group.” Find out who they are and get their contact information. Give them all of the resources you would give any new leader. Give them access to a coach who can answer their questions at their request. When the six-week study ends, invite them to leadership training. They may or may not attend. That’s okay. When they need help, they will come and find you. Independents need a long, invisible leash.
Some pastors object. “Why can’t these independent folks honor the authority that God has placed over them by doing it my way?” Whoa. Calm down. That kind of thinking will keep you right at the numbers you currently have. Community is much bigger than your system or even your church.
To attract the Independents in the last 30 percent, you must be willing to take a different approach. If you start where people are comfortable, then you can lead them to other things. If you try to start where they’re uncomfortable, you’ll lead them nowhere.
Connecting the Last 30 Percent Part 2: Engaging Introverts
Including the Isolated
By Allen White