By Allen White David had Jonathan. Moses had Aaron. Peter and Paul had Mary. John, Paul and George had Ringo (well, until Yoko Ono broke them up.) Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto. Who is your partner in ministry? Last week, we talked about the importance of a co-leader. But, how do you find one? Here are some qualities to look for: 1. Are they breathing? A dead man will do no good. 2. Is this person a growing believer? It doesn’t really matter how long a person has been a Christian. The question is “are they growing?” Some people have repeated the same two years of their Christian experience ten times, so they’ve been a Christian for 20 years. But, are they growing? Are they actively seeking God? Do they pray and see their prayers answered? Are they allowing God to work in their lives to forsake sin and to see God’s Kingdom grow? 3. Is this person interested in the group? In selecting a co-leader, consider the folks who care the most about your group. Who is there more often than not? Who lets you know when they have to miss? These are good indicators of how important the group is to the person. 4. Who creates warmth? Are people drawn toward the person, or does he repel others? Now, that doesn’t mean that this has to be the biggest hugger in your group. That person could just be needy. You want the person who is open and accepting of others. 5. Who has shown some skills? As your group has passed around the leadership for the discussion, who has shown potential by leading the discussion well? Were they sensitive to what was going on with the group members? Did the discussion get beyond the surface of the questions? While these skills can be taught, if a person shows a natural knack for leading, you might have a winner. 6. Who gives you the most trouble? Often the opinionated and the instigators in the group have leadership gifts. While your first inclination would be to run them off, the better thing would be to redirect them. To engage their leadership ability in a positive way will help the person and help the group. These are just a few things to look for. In my time with Brett Eastman out at Saddleback Church and Lifetogether.com, I learned that rather than popping the question right away, it’s better to give a potential co-leader different responsibilities and see how they perform. Brett called this “Crawl, Walk, Run.” If they aren’t ready to lead a whole study, could they lead a section of the study? If they’re not ready to lead a section, have them lead the opening question. Take your time in choosing a co-leader. Don’t just stop with question number one. Take your time, but don’t take forever. Your co-leader will be an awesome ally in your group ministry.
Let’s talk about the opposite problem from last week. Instead of low attendance, you find that everyone decided to show up. One group in our current series has 30 people meeting at their house. Is this legal? Will the small group police be visiting soon to split up the group? Here are a few tips for when your group attendance exceeds your expectations.
1.If your meeting space is large, then try to make folks as comfortable as possible. Just like a church auditorium, however, your room will only comfortably fill to 80 percent of capacity. If people sense that you have plenty of people in your group, it may become their excuse to back out of group. Make sure everyone feels like they have a place and that they are welcome to the group. Remember, community is what we need the most, yet resist. More to come on #3.
2.If your space is too small, do the best you can on week one, then develop a strategy that night for the next week. Crowd-in the best you can to watch the DVD, then sub-group for the discussion (more on sub-grouping in a minute). If you have a friend in the group or basically anyone with a clue, you might ask if part of the group could meet at their place next week. If that person is not readily apparent, then just ask the group: “It’s obvious that we have a problem. Would anyone else be willing to have part of the group meet at their place?” Chances are that if most of your new recruits were just looking for a group in the neighborhood, they won’t be offended by meeting somewhere else. They’re just not attached to you yet.
3. Make sure everyone can get their word in. Any group larger than eight people (six in a restaurant) makes it difficult for everyone to talk in the group. In a larger group, a handful of the more boisterous members will tend to take over the group while the more timid members might get a chance to talk in the car on the way home. (Well, unless, they are married to a boisterous member.) Have everyone crowd-in to watch the DVD, then say, “Okay this half of the room will move to the living room, dining room, whatever you have available. The rest of the group will stay here.” Notice that I didn’t say, “Men, go in there. Women, stay here.” Your group, most likely, won’t stay at 30 people for the long term. Sub-grouping could lead to starting a new group down the road. (Now, I said “could.” I will keep my promise). Unless you want to intentionally start a men’s group and a women’s group, it’s best to sub-group by couples.
4. Quickly locate the potential leaders. Once the group has sub-grouped, you can either ask for a volunteer to lead the discussion or you can just see what happens. The leader will naturally rise to the top. Years ago, I heard a small group leader talk about sub-grouping 45 people at their house. They used every conceivable room in the house. Then, they asked the person with the most speeding tickets to lead the discussion. They were the risk takers.
I know that Andy Stanley said that “if it has a back row, it’s not a small group.” Andy is a wise and intelligent guy. But, I also know that some folks have a wonderful gift of inviting and including others. Why would I get in the way of that?
