Posts Tagged sunday school and small groups
By Allen White
Michael Mack leads Small Group Leadership (www.smallgroupleadership.com), a ministry that partners with churches in making disciples in authentic, audacious community. He writes and equips leaders on the subject of small groups and teaches on small groups and discipleship at his alma mater, Cincinnati Christian University. He founded SmallGroups.com, has led the small group ministries in several churches, and is the author of numerous small group books and study guides. He and his wife, Heidi, and their four young adult children live in Pewee Valley, Kentucky.
Q1: Ok, you said to bring the tough questions about groups. A few years ago a pastor in Hawaii told me one of his new group leaders came to him and said the night before a man in his group asked, “How do I tell my wife that I used to be a woman before we were married?” How would you have advised this leader?
As Heather Zempel has wisely said, “Community Is Messy”! The truth is, small group leaders don’t have the answers to every small group question, and often neither do their pastors! Yet we serve the One who does have the answers, so the first thing I would do and advise this leader to do is to spend time in God’s presence, including in his Word, seeking his wisdom. After doing that, I’d tell the leader that the most important answer he gives this person is not the words he says but the love he gives him. As England Dan and John Ford Coley put it, “Love is the answer.” I’d tell the leader that this person in your group needs your acceptance, encouragement, partnership, support, and compassion more than a “right answer.” Be sure he knows you’re in his corner no matter what.
The pastor needs to ascertain whether this leader has what it will take to walk through this with this man in his group. Is he a shepherd? Is he willing and does he have the time, energy, patience, and spiritual and emotional maturity to help this man whom God has placed in his care? If so, he can move on to the following steps. If not, someone else from the church might need to be involved.
After I’d put those things in place, I’d counsel this leader to tell the man from his group to prayerfully find a Christian counselor whom he and his wife trust. The man should make an appointment with this counselor himself first to discuss this issue and seek the counselor’s advice. Then, if the counselor believes this is the best course of action, the man can invite his wife to join him in meeting with the counselor, at which time he can tell his wife this news.
The leader should promise the man he’ll be praying for him throughout this process, as long as it takes. He’ll support him as he takes strides to tell the truth, ask for forgiveness, and whatever steps he will need to take along the way.
Q2: A number of well-known churches have abandoned their coaching structures. Personally, I think this is a mistake. Why do so many churches struggle with a coaching structure for their groups?
I agree with you, Allen, that the coaching structure is critical in a growing group ministry, but it doesn’t have to be as complicated as some make it out to be. The reasons it’s a hassle are: (1) small group point leaders would much rather work directly with their leaders than develop a structure that inherently separates them from the leaders; (2) it takes time and effort to discover, develop, and deploy coaches, and you have to not do other things in order to accomplish it; (3) the point leader may need to recruit coaches out of their pool of good leaders, and who wants to lose or overburden good leaders? (4) Some point leaders believe they must use a certain coaching structure from some book, another church, or conference, and it all sounds intimidating.
I believe the church needs to develop a coaching strategy that actually works for them That might end up looking like the good ol’ 5×5 model, peer coaching, or something totally different. The key is to provide each leader with just the right amount of coaching they actually need; no more and no less. I developed a coaching model similar to Steve Gladen’s. We provided new leaders with a 1:1 coach, who was usually the leader of the group they were previously in. But this was short-term, until the new leader didn’t need that much oversight. Next, I had a team of coaches who would work with about 3-8 leaders who still needed some but not a lot of direction and support. The largest group of our leaders, however, those who were experienced or senior leaders, had what we called PEPs: Prayer and Encouragement Partners. These were mostly older couples who had led or even just had a significant role in groups. Their job was to get in touch with their leaders (about 10-30 leaders) once a quarter or so just to say, “How are you doing? How can I pray for you? and Is there anything you need? The PEPs also sent them birthday, anniversary, and Christmas cards. The leaders in this group knew where to go for help—to me or other leaders they knew, They also were the ones who would say, “I don’t really need a coach.” In fact, many of them were coaching other leaders.
The point is, this was a structure and process that worked well for us, but might not for someone else. God had already given me the resources I needed to put this structure together, so it made logical sense. I’d suggest that point leaders become very familiar with Ken Blanchard’s “Situational Leadership” model (Leadership and the One-Minute Manager) and use it in their training and coaching of leaders.
Q3: Give some examples of what successful coaching should look like.
From my answer to #2, it all depends on what the coach needs to do to coach that leader well. A new or inexperienced leader might need a bit more direction at first. But as the leader grows in competence, they probably need less and less direction and more coaching. As leaders become more competent, they need support—that is, praise, listening, and encouragement. As the leader becomes fully competent as well as fully committed to their role as a leader, the coaching becomes a delegation model; the leader can make almost all day-to-day decision on their own. Every leader needs to know they are valued; they need continual encouragement; and they need people praying for them and their vital ministry.
Q4: I first “met” you through your book, The Synergy Church. As Sunday school continues to decline across the country, what mistakes do you see churches making in transitioning from Sunday school to groups?
That was a lonnnnng time ago! I see two big mistakes churches make here. One is replacing one ministry for the other. Of course, that makes small groups the enemy in some people’s minds. Instead, I counsel churches to run both the old and the new parallel to each other. If it’s necessary to eventually replace SS with SGs (building space issues, for instance) continue to care for and support the classes and love the people there, while, at the same time, putting your energy into building your groups ministry.
The other mistake I often see is not really using a well-designed strategy to phase in the new small groups ministry. The point leader should be familiar with how the change bell curve (infusion of innovation curve) works, for instance. Develop a strategy to get from here to there and then work on all the tactics that will move you in that direction. The BIG question is not about what programs to use, but what our mission is and how we will accomplish it. Some churches have moved away from adult Sunday school and toward small groups … just because. Just because other successful churches are doing it. Just because small groups are the hip thing for churches to do. Just because Rick Warren’s church has small groups. None of those are great reasons.
Q5: How do you disciple people who are so distracted by the things of this world?
My good friend Murphy Belding always says, “The only person you can disciple is a willing one.” Willingness includes, I believe, a commitment to growing as a faithful follower of Jesus Christ, and that commitment includes a willingness to live out Romans 12:2, not conforming to the world, but being transformed into a new person. So, I start with people who will make that commitment. This is what Jesus did, and when, as in the example of the rich young man, they are unwilling to count the cost and make that commitment, I must let them walk away from an authentic discipleship opportunity.
We must believe the truth that God is drawing every person to himself, that he is standing at the doors of their hearts knocking, asking to be invited in. If someone has not invited Jesus to come in and change them, I’m not going to get very far at all in trying to disciple that person. I think one of the key roles of teaching pastors is to call people from conformity to the world and into transformation. Small groups and one-on-one discipleship are environments where that transformation can take place, as the Holy Spirit works as only he can in a person’s life.
Q5.5: As the founder of smallgroups.com, which is now owned by Christianity Today, do you ever wish you’d kept it?
No. … Ask a closed-ended question and get a one-word reply! Yeah, like I could give one-word replies!
I believe God called me and gave me the opportunity to start this ministry, and early on I saw the potential of it, but then I also sensed that other people in God’s kingdom could move it to that potential better than I, so it was an easy decision to do just that. I’m simply a steward, not an owner of whatever God entrusts to me. A servant doesn’t get to keep anything.
By Allen White
There is a reason you have the groups you currently do. They are working for somebody. Whether they are connected in Adult Bible Fellowships, Inductive Bible Studies, Sunday School (gasp…more on this later), or women addicted to Beth Moore groups, it’s working for them. As long as the groups aren’t worshiping the devil or talking bad about the pastor, leave them alone.
At Brookwood Church, we had a very large women’s group, about 200+, who met every Wednesday morning and called themselves WOW. They would meet in a large group setting to view teaching by Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer, Kay Arthur and others, then they broke into 17 different groups that met in the adjacent rooms. When it came time for a church-wide “campaign” with the group curriculum aligned with the weekend messages, I didn’t even ask the WOW women to participate. Why?
First, I didn’t need to enter into a fight that I wasn’t going to win. You can call me a wimp. I call it wise. Why volunteer for unnecessary trouble? Next, I knew if the WOW women did the church-wide study on Wednesday morning, I was giving their husbands an out. If the ladies were already doing the study, then more than likely, the men weren’t going to join a men’s group, and she wasn’t going to do the same study on the same week in a couples group.
By encouraging WOW to continue on their path of study, the ladies and their husbands also participated together in a couples group for the church-wide study. Not only were the men involved in groups, I got to count the women twice! Ok, not really, but you understand what I’m saying.
A day will come when group membership to a failing initiative will decrease. That is the time to consider a hard conversation about ending the group, class or ministry. But, as long as it’s helping someone, it’s worth keeping around. If you attempt to transition a ministry to quickly, you will upset its constituency, which could come back in many ways from reduced giving to personal “political” fall out. Don’t fight battles you can’t win or will greatly injure you. Be patient.
Why Do Pastors Long for a Magic Bullet?
If one strategy could connect every member in our church, if one model could work for everyone, it would be a pastor’s dream come true. Why? Because it’s efficient or dare I say, convenient. For busy pastors, it’s easier to manage one system, not three, four or five.
Your members are looking for variety, not uniformity. Look at how many car models were made last year. Look at how many new books appear on the shelves of Barnes & Noble. Look at how many ways you can drink coffee at Starbucks. The Blue Plate Special died 50 years ago.
What is a Small Group Anyway?
Why do you have small groups? Coolness is not the right answer. Merely forming small groups could contribute to more problems. Rather than individuals leaving the church, now they might leave linking arms. (Keep reading. It’s okay.) If groups offer care, encouragement, fellowship, Bible study and leadership development, can that only happen in a small group? What if a Sunday School class was accomplishing those things? What if your existing groups were already doing that? Isn’t this meeting your goal? Isn’t this building people up?
Do New Things with New People
Rather than forcing them into the existing model, discover what will work for them. Men don’t join groups for the same reasons as women. Younger generations are motivated differently than older generations. Some folks will join because they ought to. Others will see what’s in it for them. Still others will see a chance to make a difference together. And, some will think the whole thing is lame. That’s okay.
When new freshmen enter college, they are given a college catalog. The catalog delineates all of the requirements to graduate with a chosen degree. If the college chooses to change any of the requirements along the way, they do so with the incoming freshmen. They can’t make the changes with the upperclassmen. Their contract, if you will, was established during their freshman year.
Your existing groups are like the upperclassmen. They came in while you were doing groups, classes or Bible studies a certain way. While you can always invite them to try something new, you should refrain from making the change mandatory. Again, if you lose what you have for the sake of something new, you’re just being stupid. (Some take offense when I say this, “Are you calling me stupid?” I tell them, “No, because you’re not going to do that.”)
When we launched our groups for The Passion of the Christ at New Life years ago, we didn’t even tell our existing groups what we were doing. Partly because we were in a bit of a rush having decided to launch the groups only three weeks before the series started, but also because we already had the existing groups. We just needed to build on that.
My leaders came to me and asked, “Can our group do the Passion study or is it only for new groups?”
Being the kind, compassionate pastor I am, I said, “What’s it worth to you?” Nearly all of our existing groups participated in the study. They didn’t have to, but they wanted to. You attract more flies with honey…
One Size Does Not Fit All
When I arrived at Brookwood Church in Simpsonville, South Carolina, about 30 percent of the adults were in groups. It was a solid foundation. We had on-campus groups, off-campus groups, Beth Moore Bible study groups, and the Holy Smokers, who focused on Bible and barbecue. Remember them? We launched lots of new groups through church-wide campaigns. We connected hundreds of new folks to groups. We gained another 30 percent in groups. Sixty percent ain’t bad.
But, as I became better acquainted with the congregation, I discovered that some in the Bible belt really were intimidated by the Bible. They resisted small groups because they were afraid they would have nothing to contribute to the discussion. Whoa. In California, we just asked folks to do a study with their friends. They did it. But, this was a whole other deal.
We created large groups for men, women, young couples, business people, law enforcement, and senior adults. These are what Carl George calls “fishing ponds.” In these large groups people could move from the crowd of a 2,500 seat auditorium to a living room of a few friends, old or new.
We offered a solid recreation ministry for adults and children. We created a system of classes called BrookwoodU where people could get to know each other while they learned cooking, digital photography, leadership, Microsoft Word, sign language and even Hermeneutics. (Many friendships were forged in their hermeneutical fox holes.)
I didn’t join the staff of a megachurch to start classes or to send seniors to Branson, Missouri. But, those not connected into groups didn’t necessarily care about what I wanted. What did they need?
After four years, we reached 78 percent of our, then, 5,000 adults connected in small groups, large groups, and BrookwoodU. We didn’t get to 100 percent, but maybe someone else can take them there in the future.
You wouldn’t transition small groups to a Sunday School model, would you? Build on what’s working. Then, figure out what you can add to that. And, for the pastor on that webcast, I wish you well.